Been Dunked For Two Years Now

Tonight we celebrated with Elias the fact that he has been an "official" member of the body of Christ for two years now. We recommended that he take a retreat for some quiet reflection, but he preferred that we read a few books and sing "I love trash." Based on Elias' petulant behavior this morning, I really wondered how the Holy Spirit was working in him other than by burning a hole in his pants. After he tipped his friend over in her chair, I was ready to ask for Elias to be drowned in the font one more time! By evening, however, we had a great time looking at the shell that the Bishop used to pour water over his head and we had a few fun renditions of the Lord's Prayer. The night closed with a card and book from his English godfather. The English really know their children's books;try the Elmer series. Elias loves the gentle elephant, Elmer, and the illustrations are gorgeous. Here's to another year of living wet, Elias. God loves you--and so do we!

Ahoy there, Matey

This afternoon the kids were pretending to be pirates. It was kind of odd considering we had some snow today.

The second picture is of Nora trying to coerce Elias into marriage.

Nora:"Elias will you marry me?"

Elias: "Yes... no."

And the final picture is of Nora trying to help take care of Adelaide.

Swing Low Sweet Chariot

We were at the park the other day and my friend asked, "Does Adelaide like to swing?" It was one of those moments when I was caught completely off guard. It just had not occurred to me to put her in the swing yet. But, of course, she can hold her head up and is sitting up unsupported so I'm surprised I hadn't tried her yet. It reminds me of how important socialization for moms is as well as for kids. I remember a few weeks ago that at a friend's house Elias was able to put on his shoes. Now that I have that information, I have tried to encourage him to use that skill in MY presence. Parents really do need each other to encourage their kids to become independent and grow! So, the answer to the question about the swing is that Addie just loved it!


Here is a picture of Elias swinging at about the same age!

Sabbath Keeping

Last night I mentioned to my mom that I needed to buy clothes for the kids and I was planning a pilgrimage to the outlet malls Sunday to remedy the situation. My mom said, tongue-in-cheek, "On the Sabbath?" Little did she know, I have been in conversation with a few people about how to honor the Sabbath--and yet still keep my children fed, dressed, and dry.

You see, the dilemma for me is not just how to keep the Sabbath, but when to keep the Sabbath. As a clergy person, who once worked on Sundays, it was pretty clear that Sabbath was not observed on Sunday, but on another day of the week. Mind you, many clergy are the worst models when it comes to honoring the Sabbath. Sometimes, there is something in the clergy gene that says, "if the parish can't get along without me, how can God?" Usually, neither of those things are true, it's just that clergy have often structured their lives around the need to be needed. But, truly God wants us to take Sabbath not only to honor and worship God, but also to REST in the joy of God's creation. And resting implies not working. When we work on the Sabbath we tell God that we can't trust that things will be done and things will be taken care of. We really make work our God. And, in this day and age, that is so easy to do.

But what about those of us who have to work on Sundays? That group of people who have children who need to be bathed and fed and diapered all day long? Well, certainly we need more creative ways to honor the Sabbath. We can't ask our kids do change their own diapers, or better yet become toilet-trained on command, but we can change what we adults do for work on our Sabbath Day. I try to refrain from "extra" work on the Sabbath, such as laundry and vacuuming and heavy housework. This involves some planning; usually I do a lot of laundry on Saturday. I also like to refrain from shopping on Sundays. We always default to that gallon of milk, but I try not to spend lots of money or time in the marketplace on Sundays. After all, God wants us to not only rest from work, but from making others work. Sabbath is also just a time to rest in the joy of family. Most Sundays involve simple pleasures like trips to the park as a family. Which brings us to the next question of how do we honor the Sabbath as a family?

If you are married to an academic, there is a tendency to want to work on Sunday afternoon...Luckily, I can usually convince the one I know that if we start the Sabbath at sundown on Saturday with a special dinner by candlelight we can also end the Sabbath around the same time on Sunday. This system usually works nicely. It is really important for part of our Sabbath time as a married couple to involve adult conversation and lingering over dinner. It is our hope that when the kids are older we would have Sunday dinners like our parents had with us and our grandparents had with them, but for now Sunday dinners are just part of the usual weekly grind.

So, back to shopping on the Sabbath this Sunday. In the letter of the law, I don't think it is a good habit to get into, but in the Spirit I see it as rest and a break from our regular lives. I go shopping about two or three times a year and I do enjoy it when I get the occasion to go with someone else. I remember that Sabbath time in the yard on Sundays is work if I just need to cross it off my list of chores, but it is play if I am planting seeds and enjoying clearing up those flower beds.

I look forward to seeing how our Sabbath evolves with our children as they grow. I know it will involve setting limits and even, at times, some anger as we refuse to cave-in to Sunday morning soccer. But, it is good to rest and it is good to rest together as a way of trusting in the One "in whom we live and move and have our being."

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Hats off to you!


I picked this one just for you...

Bishop's and Bed-time Stories

Last night we were graced by the presence of our bishop. He was invited for dinner. Bishop Miller arrived just as we were getting both kids down for bed and we still had a bit of cooking to do. I was making a salsa couscous chicken dish and had also made a rum cake with strawberries for dessert. The couscous still needed to be cooked so Adam handed Elias over to the Bishop and had him do the bedtime story and prayers. I over heard Bishop Miller reminding Elias of his baptism--of which the Bishop was the celebrant. It seems Elias has a gift for getting bishops to read him stories. Last summer, Bishop Klusmyer of the Diocese of West Virginia visited. He and Elias enjoyed a cuddle and a story on the rocking chair as well. Perhaps Elias is destined to wear purple.

Kradel Hair

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  Some people say Elias looks a lot like me, but I say he has his daddy's hair. Lots of it and sticking up in all kinds of ways.

Three Times is a Charm

Well, here is the update on ACK's sleeping habits. On the third night of "sleep training" she stepped up to the plate. She donned her best sleepsack, sucked extra-hard on her obscure pacifier, ate all the butternut squash in the house, and geared up for a full night's sleep. We woke up feeling astonished--and rested. She decided to follow suit the night after and last night she did not peep until 6:15 am because of a slight cough.

If this is to continue, I will not NEED to drive through at Starbucks anymore. I'm feeling bright-eyed and bushy tailed. For all those parents out there wondering whether to do such a process all I can say that the rewards are great, but the process if painful--not too unlike childbirth. So, you decide!

Crying it Out!

I Can't Imagine Why Anybody Would Want To Stop Crying
By Emmet Henson 2-Month-OldApril 9, 2008

Life has so many wonderful experiences to offer. Like sleep. Or ingestion and evacuation. But I find life offers few opportunities more rewarding than screaming like a maniac until your voice cracks with the strain, so that the entire universe can share in your distress. That's what life is all about, right? The sheer exhilarating thrill of nonstop crying at the top of your lungs. It's such an important part of why we are here—why would anybody ever want to do anything else?
Don't get me wrong—I like squirming, drooling, and sporadically attempting to focus on colors and shapes as much as the next guy. But of all the various activities one can choose to pursue in life, crying is tops as far as I'm concerned. In my opinion, I find nothing is more fulfilling than a good steady holler. It takes no experience to begin, and within moments, all one's needs are instantly met! It's my favorite part of the day.
Heck, I'm crying right now!
I suppose some people might enjoy wasting their days with sleep or gentle cooing, but not me. No, sir. Not when there's all that fantastically loud crying to do. In fact, I love crying so much, sometimes I wish I could be awake 24 hours a day, just to hear the crying I miss out on hearing when I am asleep. I mean, I assume I cry in my sleep, too. Whoa. There's a strange thought: What if I stop crying for a moment when I'm asleep? That would be tragic.
Yes, there's nothing like a good, healthy, air-raid-siren-style bellow to renew one's red-faced passion for living. What you want, I've found, is to pitch your voice at about the decibel level of your standard jet engine and then hold it as long as possible before taking in air. That's the sweet spot right there. That's the ideal volume for a good cry—the kind of crying that isn't so much melancholy or sorrowful as it is a full-throttle roar of earsplitting shrillness.
It's so easy. Getting started can be as simple as being startled by your own hand.
In my opinion, anyone who isn't screaming his lungs out is just letting life pass him by. You'd think, after seeing how happy crying makes me, people would follow my example. But all around me there are tall, shadowy figures who seem to actively avoid the most pleasurable part of existence. Everywhere I look I see them: standing behind my stroller as they walk around town, or leaning in over me in my crib and making faces. Whole loads of people, not crying. Don't they realize what they're missing?
Look, I'm not a purist. I understand there are times when it might be perfectly acceptable to stop crying. Like when something is placed in your mouth for you to suck on. Or when somebody jiggles you for 40 seconds. Both are perfectly understandable and justifiable reasons to stop crying momentarily. But to be completely silent for more than, say, a minute? That's just crazy.
Take my parents, for example. If it wasn't for my tireless efforts, they'd sleep through the night! Can you believe it? I don't think it's because they're too old—I suppose I don't know how old they are exactly, but I can't imagine it's any more than, say, one. They've still got plenty of life in them. Yet they hardly ever cry, and when they do, it's usually softly, in the middle of the night, and exhausted-sounding. What happened to their lust for life? Don't they realize that every moment they waste sleeping, fiddling with the car seat, or holding picture books in front of my face is precious time they could be screaming their heads off?
How can I get them to embrace life and really make the most of wailing like a mythical banshee for hours on end?
I just don't understand these people—and not only because I have yet to grasp the concept of others as separate selves outside of me. Don't they know that all they'd have to do is take a good deep breath, let her rip, and the air would be filled with glorious noise? They can't be having a good time just sitting there, grinning slightly, and communicating through facial expressions and this bizarre series of coded grunts I have yet to decipher.
What do they spend their time doing? Comprehending spatial relations? I'd die of boredom in a minute. They must've been young once. Surely they can still remember the good times they had, splitting the very air with sonic knives of nigh-unendurable intensity. I would hate to think that someday I might be so jaded and cynical as to turn my back on wriggling and panting for breath, using every ounce of my being to emit a general, undifferentiated distress signal to all within earshot.
Spending entire days without crying? Why, it goes against the very thing that makes us human.
God, I hope I never become like them.

Who's sleep training whom?

We're at a draw. The night before last, Adelaide awoke at 1am and cried for a long time. I finally gave in and went downstairs to feed her because I was afraid she was trulky hungry. You see, we went to Texas Taco Tubbs, yum, and she just had some jars of baby food, but no cereal. I was concerned that her tummy was just not full enough. Lo and behold, when I fed her she nursed and had three ounces of formula and proceeded to go right back to sleep. Champion for the night was Adelaide.

Last night, I started feeding her at 5pm. Sweet potatoes, rice cereal with a dollop of applesauce, yogurt, and a bottle. We put her to bed at around 7 and she woke-up at 5am. Adam went downstairs to check her diaper and to reinsert her Nuk. I stayed in bed trying to keep my perfum d'lactation at bay. She cried for an hour and then went back to sleep finally awaking at 9am. Champion for the night was Daddy.

When we got home from church and fed everyone, Adam and Elias went to the porch to play before Eli's nap. Daddy fell asleep and Elias provided him with the stuffed animal. Such is the life of parents with young children. Sleep when, and where, and with whom!, you can.

ESP--or deeply intuitive

I forgot to mention that at our Dr's appt, I got teased for feeding my 6 month old in the middle of the night. "Come on, Melissa, she can't be hungry. She has doubled her birthweight and her stomach is big enough now to make it through the whole night." I was somewhat relieved to hear this. I had wondered how long these late night feedings would go on. With Elias, they stopped at 3 weeks--but that is highly unusual. And, because he stopped doing night feedings, I had to pump in the middle of the night to keep up my supply. I just thought that perhaps this is the way feedings go for more normal eaters. But, Dr. K said it was time for tough love. She said to let her cry it out for 3 or 4 nights and we would nip it in the bud. So, I was all prepared last night. I held her for an extra long time before I put her to bed and even gave her a priestly blessing for some odd reason. I kissed her and then closed the door. I finished all my evening chores and went upstairs early to prepare for a long night of pillows over my ears and gut wrenching pain in my stomach. I even found some bright pink earplugs which I dutifully placed next to me bed. I read until about 10 and then turned off the light hoping to be in such a deep sleep by the time she awoke that I wouldn't hear here. My next moment of consciousness was at about 5:30 am and someone was making noise...It was Elias! He was awake early and she was still fast asleep. I turned over and went back to sleep and slept until 7am. Yes, Adelaide slept from 7 to 7.

Did she know what we were up to? Did she just decide to make it easier on us? Or could she not stand the thought of tiring out her lungs for no reason. We''ll never know and who knows how tonight will go...But, thanks, Addie for the amazing 12 hours of sleep you rendered. Cheers!

Off the Charts

Most moms (and some dads) look forward to their children's well check-ups even if they involve shots. Usually mom has jotted down a few questions about all kinds of bodily functions and sleep issues if the child is under 3. Over the course of the few weeks preceding the visit, some parenting or health questions arise and I just store them on my list of questions to ask Dr. K. In addition to picking out a cute outfit that the doctor will never see because the child is weighed naked and then hangs out a diaper, I also try extra hard to make sure that the sweet potatoes and applesauce are no longer lingering on my child's face. (It's kind of like when your mom says to always have clean underwear on in case you get in an accident.) Well, I always want my child to look styling to go be poked and prodded. Incidentally, Adelaide wore her miniBoden outfit given by my sister-in-law. It was, in fact, even commented upon by the Dr while crumpled in a pile on the examining table.

After her stats, 16 lbs and 263/4 inches, that translates to 50th percentile and 80th percentile, we had the barrage of questions. All was going well describing sleeping and eating habits. However, the first developmental question gave me some unease. Does Adelaide play peek-a-boo with you? I started to get a bit scared. No, not really, i said. Does she wave bye-bye? Uh, no , she makes a few hand motions...Does she speak Spanish?...No, just Swahili. Does she now that 3.14=pi. Ah not yet, but she will next week!

Woops, the nurse was looking at the wrong age range chart. I was relieved to be able to say that yes, she sits up, smiles, laughs, tracks with her eyes, moves things from hand to hand, but is still working on writing her first novel. All in all, a happy visit to the doctor's and some nice bonding time with mom without having mom distracted by her brother licking the doctor's office floor. (That was in a previous post on Ash Wednesday.)

Addie on Film

We forgot to get a shot of Adelaide on her 6 month birthday. This age is really a dream. With my fingers crossed, I'm reporting that Adelaide is mostly sleeping through the night. She goes to bed around seven and wakes up at 6:30. She is devouring bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, and yogurt. I also tried her on pear sauce, from Trader Joes, and that went down well, too. Her latest hobbies are making raspberry sounds and motorboat sounds, especially in church during the sermon. I tried to get her to make the noises during this video, but she wouldn't perform. She sits up well and grabs things to play with. She also loves to bounce in her bouncy swing. She's a busy girl. The video is just a short clip of her smiling, though.

It's Official...Spring is Here

I looked out our upstairs window last night and saw that the last bit of snow in our yard had melted. We still had a pile off of the deck that had gotten significantly large because of shoveling the deck. Hovering in the distance from this pile is a patch of crocus--or croci! Anyway, yesterday the temperature reached 60 degrees and we ran off to the park for some great outdoor time. This was the first time that Adelaide rode upright in the stroller. She enjoyed seeing the world face on, rather than lying on her back.

Like Father/Mother like Son

When mom or dad has to take a shower, Elias enjoys sitting on their bed. We used to put him in the pack n play, but now his arms are so long that you never know how many maxi pads will be stuck to Elias' face when you get out of the shower. It's better to have a bit of privacy and safer than having him rifle through our toiletries and medicines. He's old enough now to enjoy playing on the bed and pretending to sleep while we get ready in the morning. Today I caught him catching up on the latest news; he's trying to see what the latest polls are saying in Pennsylvania. Please note that often I read the paper at lunchtime and he likes to snatch the paper from me and says, "All done!" Maybe now he will understand the joy of reading the paper--even if he is doing so sideways.