When the Rector is Away

This past morning, I served as a supply priest at Christ Church. Adam took the older two kids to another church for a morning away and I was at the helm there. It started out as a very early morning because Josiah woke at 5:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep. By 7am, I was in the church practicing my sermon. After a sip or two of tea, I was feeding the baby and managed to get him down for a nap by 8am. I suppose this is the first--and last--time that Christ Church has a supply priest who gets a baby down for a nap and folds a load of laundry before the liturgy has even started.

I am struck by the contrast of my regular Sunday experience. This morning I felt like I had not only led worship, but that I had worshiped, too. It was good for my soul. As I was passing out the bread, I'm always amazed by the privilege that I have to share Christ's love with people in all kinds of circumstances. Just this weekend a parishioner's friend had her six year old son killed in a car accident. As I handed the bread to the husband, all I could think was how badly they needed that sustenance today. Serving at, and behind, and in front of the altar is a joy for me. I don't get to do it too often these days, but when I do I'm grateful.

The other major difference I noticed this morning was that I got to speak to people who I had never actually met. They all knew me, but it was my first time I got to say hello to them. I did notice, however, that habits die hard. I kept glancing from left to right at coffee hour to make sure that Elias had not gotten a peanut cookie or that Adelaide had not wandered into the street. Then I remembered that they were not there!



Below is the text from my sermon: Kingdom Etiquette

Jesus never had an advice column in the NYTimes.
Nor did he manage to write a book on etiquette.
Certainly, he was never a mom reminding his kids to place the napkin in their lap before they started to eat, but not until after the host or hostess had invited them to begin eating.
Etiquette. Rules. Customs.
Call them what you will, but we all know that there are rules and regulations when it comes to dinner guests and dinner parties.
Even in this day and age, when most bemoan the lack of cordial behavior, people still know to bring a little something if they are invited as guests for dinner.

And, in case we have truly forgotten our manners there is always Tiffany and Co.
In Friday's paper, I found a fascinating ad.
It read, " A good guest arrives slightly late. And leaves on time. A good guest brings energy and charm and a small present. A dinner guest engages the person on his left and on his right. A party guest mingles and meets everyone. A houseguest is self-sufficient, not needing constant entertainment. All good guests write thank you notes. Very good guests also call the next day."
I had never given much thought to the differences of a dinner guest, a party guest, and a houseguest, but I think Tiffany and Co is truly spot on.
Each kind of guest has a unique role, and a unique responsibility, to bring to a social occasion.

Now Jesus seemed to be writing his very own etiquette book to the Pharisees.
He didn't take out any full page ads in the local Jerusalem Journal, but he sure worked hard to get his own point across.
Let's pause for a moment and think about the fact that in the Gospel of Luke Jesus sits down at a dinner table at every chance he gets.
In this section, Jesus is either going to a meal, coming from a meal, or at a meal.
In fact, this story is sandwiched between the story of the man who has dropsy and the infamous banquet story.
We know, too, that Jesus was invited to meals with Pharisees.
Such invitations meant he was a guest.
A scrutinized guest.
A watched guest.
But, a guest nonetheless.

So, now the tables are turned and Jesus is not a guest, but gives advice on being a guest.
In a plain way, it sounds like just more practical advice.
Don't sit near the head of the table or you'll be embarrassed if you find out you're not as great as you thought you were.
But it goes deeper than that.
Jesus uses kingdom language to talk about where we should sit.
Sit at the lowest seat and you may be given honor by moving up.
The Greek word he uses is Doxa for honor, which translates more fully as glory--a kingdom word, kingdom etiquette, kingdom life.
This small nugget of advice points us to God language and reminds us that it is only God who gives the glory, not others.
God's praise and power--not others.
God's place and favor--not others.
This advice might remind us of that old infamous Biblical adage, "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first."
And, we can swallow this. Good advice. Solid. Not too scary.

But, the problem is Jesus has more to say about dinner guests.
Don't invite your friends, your co-workers, your boss, your financial advisor, your parishioners, your church friends, your relatives.
Invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.
The four groups Jesus tells us to invite were the same exact four groups of people who were forbidden in the temple.
They were considered unclean.
Invite them. Invite the dirty ones. Radical stuff in his time. Radical stuff now, right?

I don't know about you, but I don't truly feel comfortable opening up my home, my dinner table, my filthy kitchen floor to people who I don't know.
I have already had four times this year when people have thought the rec tory was the church and tried to walk right in.
I didn't invite them in for a sit down dinner.
Instead I directed them rather promptly to the church office--especially if I was feeding Josiah!
Believe me, I have learned to lock the front door.
But how do I invite the outcasts to my table?
How might I live this kingdom etiquette? How might we live this kingdom life?

I think it all comes back to life centered in God.
It seems that Jesus might be saying that it is only God who blesses and praises, so we need not seek it elsewhere--even at the dinner table.
It seems Jesus is saying to open our eyes and see the hungry, the poor, and the needy.
See them with our money and make sure we feed them.
But, really he is also saying see them for real as people--eat with them when you can.
Invite them to eat.
Only you will know the best place and time to do this--if you can figure it out at all.

But, I also think Jesus is trying to teach us that kingdom manners and kingdom etiquette are not just practical injunctions, but metaphorical ways of being.
Take for instance, the idea that we will be blessed or praised when we open up our table to the outcast.
Suddenly, blessings is not for us to decide, but it is for God to decide.
We may think blessing is having enough in our Roth IRA, a few beautiful children, and a secure job.
God may see blessing in our aged grandfather that has to move in with us because of declining health.
We may see blessing in our healthy bodies that still bend and even move fast when we make them.
God may see blessing when our back is out and we have to sit patiently and wait.
My point is really this: Kingdom life is hard to live as God wants us to live it.
Let's be honest.
Kingdom manners are hard work.
But, the glory is this.
No Miss Manners guide or ad from Tiffany's can afford us the blessings we are given in this life.
The Hebrew word for blessing is baruch.
This word means less about getting something good from God, and more about having God right in the midst of us.
Kingdom life, kingdom rules, and kingdom etiquette get us to that special place of blessing.

A few years ago, we were living in Madison, Wisconsin in an exceptionally vibrant neighborhood.
Our next door neighbor, Henry, who was 90 at the time, became a widower.
One of the neighbor's set up a meal rotation for Henry.
Instead of bringing meals to Henry, Henry came and sat at our table.
I have to admit I didn't always look forward to our night.
Addie was just 2 months old when Henry started coming.
That first time he stayed until after 10pm and I had to excuse myself and nurse her and rock her upstairs as I heard Henry tell his story about being called before the committee for un-American activities.
Eventually, Adam had to gently tell him we needed to go to bed.
You see, it was his wife who used to help him pick-up on social cues--and we knew he was lonely.
But every two weeks, Henry sat at our table.
We laughed together. We drank wine together. We listened to amazing stories.
And, we hoped he would pick up on the yawns...And we were blessed.
We were blessed because we followed kingdom etiquette and rules.
And in that practice, we were taught by God to be hosts at our table--whether we felt like it or not.

I bet some of you didn't fully want to be here this morning.
Maybe a child was throwing a tantrum.
Maybe you had a bad night's sleep.
Maybe you just weren't sure about the love of God today.
But it is kingdom etiquette that gets us to this table.

We are brought here by following God's invitation to come to this table week after week.
We are perhaps, in God's eye, the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.
When we turn the tables we see that God invites us as guests every week.
Not because we are worthy, or special ,or will give anything great back to God, but because God makes room for us at his table.
We are his guests.
Let's be good ones.
Because surely it is kingdom etiquette that enables us to live the kingdom life, sharing bread and wine at the table together in the household of our Lord.
And don't forget, every good guest writes a thank you note.

A True Vacation

Nobody can say we haven't gotten around this summer. We drove up to Rhode Island for a Hastings reunion. We got to spend the night at a Hilton Garden Inn en route. We spent almost 10 days on the road between Philly and Madison with stops in West Virginia and Chicago and Ohio. We listed to countless Winnie the Pooh stories on the Ipod, melted too many crayons in the drink holders, and ground far too many french fries into the carpet of our "new" minivan. However, none of these trips were truly restful. We were doing the kid thing all day long, but in hotels and cars and airplanes.

This past week, however, we had a 3 on 3 grandparent to grandchild ratio. My whole goal this week was to read and I devoured the book, The Help, in four, short days. On a few mornings, I got to stay in bed close to 8am. The kids got to play games of Go Fish, play with Pop-pop's flashlight, and build sandcastles on the beach. They enjoyed their new roommates and we enjoyed having only Josiah to tend to at night. We even got a night out on the board walk and a look at a sunset on our own. Thanks to everybody for a great, restful week. And, the kids were incredibly high maintainence today--the inevitable and regrettable day after!

Beach Girl

Don't let this pensive look fool you. This girl is full of piss and vinegar. She is both a charmer and a devil at the same time. For example, she transitioned out of a crib very smoothly. However, during her quiet time this week she managed to get Head and Shoulders in her eyes, open a bottle of travel mouthwash that still had the safety seal on--we still don't know if she drank it or dumped it out! She pooped on the floor in the bathroom (by accident) and then blamed it on her father. In an adorable green frog towel, I said "Hey froggy girl" and she quickly quipped back, "Hey Mommy girl!." She thrived under her grandparents' eyes and savored all the attention in and out of the water. Her aqua accomplishment of the week was jumping in very far from the side of the pool.

Beach Boy

Elias had a wonderful five days at the beach. As of yesterday, he was officially swimming and we are so proud. He went from using a noodle around the pool to now swimming doggie paddle/freestyle. His confidence is up immensely and he told me tonight his best part of the week was giving up the noodle. Three cheers to our first swimmer!

Philly and our Friends

One of the blessed advantages of living outside of the city is that we can enjoy it and then go home. We left our house at 9 am and made it to the train station by 9:04. We arrived at Reading Terminal Market in time to celebrate Amish days. The kids were thrilled to be pulled by two small ponies and pretend to drive through downtown Philly. After eating lunch in the Market we walked through Chinatown and landed at the Ben Franklin Park. All the children played on the playground, rode the carousel, had their picture taken with a Phanatic, and listened to a story about Pat the Patriot. We then boarded the train home.

A special thanks to the A-B's for a fabulous weekend.

The Blessed Thumb

My first thumbsucker, bliss, bliss, bliss.

104 Days Later

Josiah has now slept through the night for four nights in a row. We are so proud of him. It may have some negative ramifications for breastfeeding, but it's worth it. I'm still waking up, though, needing to feed, but I know that will change soon. Our main issue with him, though, is that he catnaps throughout the day, so it is hard to get much done. I rememner Elias did the same thing and he slept through the night at 3 weeks old, rather than 3 and half months old. However, Addie was a catnapper, too, and had to be sleep trained at 6 months to sleep through the night. So, I can't find a ryhme or reason for why my children don't take good naps as babies. Today I even tried putting Jed on his tummy to sleep like the did in the good old days when were were kids. To no avail, maybe time will break this habit. After all, my sleep Bible says they don't even develop the morning nap until around 4 months. So, here's to reaching that milestone next, Jed.

Not to be Outdone!

Yes, after I posted about Eli's creative outfits, Addie must have been reading the blog. She got into my closet and found my one pair of black boots, which Adam so affectionately has coined my hooker boots. (He needs to get out more!) She proudly wore them around the house and even managed to wear them down a flight of stairs. One more set of interesting outfits.

All Kinds of Outfits

While I love my children's creativity, it sure creates extra work from time-to-time. On Sunday, Elias came downstairs dressed in khaki pants, a sweater vest with no shirt underneath, a tie, and a shirt thrown over. He proclaimed that he was a "rock star." After some probing, I determined that he had no idea what a rock star was. Also, the past few nights, he has been putting on two pairs of pajamas. One pair is his exoskeleton and the other is endoskeleton. In any case, he is plenty warm on these hot and humid nights. Today, Eli and Addie were entertaining Josiah in the morning. Eli put on his santa hat and proceeded to create a santa hat for Addie fro his underwear and a white tube sock for the pom-pom effect. And, socks have been showing up all over the house in strange places. Apparently, exoskeletons also include being covered on the hands and feet with mismatched socks.

The little one...

I have some wonderful pictures of Josiah, but they are on Shutterfly. However, I wanted to grab this moment and record the fact that he laughed out loud yesterday. Right now, Josiah is becoming increasingly social--smiling and laughing at people. His older brother really loves to entertain him. He is usually sleeping well at night now. Often he goes down between 7 and 8 and sleeps for 12 hours, with a feeding anywhere between 2 and 4 am. Although his night sleep is excellent, his naps during the day are very brief. He usually takes 3 to 4 catnaps during the day that are usually just a half hour in length. The other major discovery has been the joy of a thumb. I don't know whether to be happy or sad, but he has found his thumb and likes to suck on it really hard. He also loves to be perched in his high chair while we are all in the kitchen and has dabbled in the exersaucer. His legs are quite strong and he bears down on them. I can't remember how old you are, little one, but I think it's about 14 weeks. You look like you are just getting bigger and bigger and I suspect you are going to be our largest child by far. Happy growing!

Pig tails!

Old and Dear Friends

Here is Elias with his godmother and Eli and Addie with their old and beloved sitter at Michael's Frozen Custard. Good times!

Josiah in his first Bumpo

Adelaide, our Swinger

This little girl is very confident and able on climbing equipment. She had so much fun keeping up with the bigger kids.